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A retrospective of creative works (Finale)
Hey, this journal entry means that I'm actually completing something. Heh... it's a miracle. First of all, I brief list of everything we've covered; with their progress, so we know where we are and what we're dealing with. * Metamorphosis novellas, each between 6,000 and 11,000 words {original draft completed, but rewrite still exists} * Sari & Xavier twin story word disjointed novel {lost, but completed} * Pickles comics {lost, but completed} * Epic! The Humorous RPG demo {Beyond completed. Went the extra mile to add plenty of content} * Little Cassie word novel {Completed. Bad and disjointed at the end, but finished} * FIM fanfictions: fanfictions {One chapter fanfiction completed; its sequel made it three chapters; a different story only made it two chapters; and three self-contained stories that were complete} * Growing Around for a cartoon series {Still in production; 32 scripts written by me exist. If you remove the four episodes that are completely disowned; it's 28, which is more than enough to be a complete 13-episode (two 11 minute segment) cartoon, and is well on its way to a 26 episode season.} * Hellspawn script written, but abandoned * Young Commando length spoof movie screenplay {Made it 1 third through; 31 scenes, about 36 minutes of would-be screentime] * Wartorn novel {1 chapter in and abandoned} * Consequences game {never even attempted beyond idea stage} * Eden of the Stars novel {1 chapter in and abandoned} * Children of the Skies novel {Never made it past the planning stage} * Flower of My Dreams Novel {Never made it past the planning stage} * Isaldor '''world and novel {Made a bunch of concepts; novel never got past planning stage} * '''Alone Together deconstruction sitcom {2 scripts written; abandoned} * Time travel kids story length comedy science fiction screenplay {8 pages in; abandoned} * Parable of the Dragon and the Shepherd Fable {completed} * Growing Around: Party Panic novel {Completed} * Cyana to be turned into a novel {4 chapters in; abandoned} * Swan Song game {nebulous and confused} * Fairytale Brooke novel {1 chapter in; struggling not to give up} Heh, it's an interesting experience, talking a walk down memory lane and going through a decade of your work. Keep in mind that this is the stuff that I took seriously and/or completed/posted. There are many little ideas that never got as far as these, and who knows, maybe they'll show up in the future as "random idea that only got to the end of chapter one." Honestly, the list itself looks rather short; almost makes me feel like I missed something, considering that it took me four journal entries to get to this point. The first thing that I notice is how much isn't completed. These are ideas that at some point defined my life, as in "I was the guy who was making this" with some obvious exceptions, like Wartorn ''and ''Consequences. However, anything that I've completed came early (Metamorphosis) or was short (Hellspawn pilot). The point is trying to figure out why. The obvious answers are demonstrably not the answer. "The ones that I've completed were obviously the one I liked the most." No. Honestly, of everything here, Cyana was, or had the potential to be, my favorite. The point of this all is to figure out my themes and motifs. Trying to figure out what my imagination is "trying to say." What it wants to get out into the world. For many of these, and I've said this before, it largely feels like these are stories that I want other people to tell me. Although, that's clearly not an answer either. If someone else wrote a good (non-dystopian) story where the kids and adults had a role reversal, I wouldn't be doing Growing Around. It's a story I wanted someone to tell me, and I went out of my way and I wrote the thing. And in some cases, people have told me these stories, or at least pieces of them. Flower of my Dreams and the movie Her have some similarities; Young Commando is far from the only spoof of action movies; and Eden of the Stars has some similar themes to The Truman Show. So, let's start with the theme that jumps out at me. It's a story that I keep trying to tell over and over, but can't seem to succeed, and that's dealing with the evil within. Maybe not literally evil, but this character has something within them that wants to do wanton destruction upon the world and it's up to the protagonist to control it. It was started with Metamorphosis ''(Lucy becomes easy to anger and becomes addicted to, and loses control, around blood); ''Hellspawn (the shadow); and Cyana (Cyana's destructive powers need to be released upon the world). Little Cassie might also be included here too, as Andrew keeps debating if he's doing more evil than good. Flower of my Dreams tips this in on its head. There's still an internal evil that must be controlled, but this time it's (mostly) benevolent and only causes negative effects because of the world's perception of it. It's an interesting thing to keep of note. Now the obvious - most of my main characters are young girls. It's usually a fairly arbitrary choice. The only exceptions are probably Young Commando, as in the movie Commando, Arnold has to rescue his daughter; and Cyana, in which it's important to the themes of the novel. You could probably throw Children of the Skies ''on that pile too, as a young girl getting an education does say something about the world in which it takes place. It's hard to explain an exact reason for this. I won't say that the plots fit a female character better (usually). ''Eden ''could have easily starred a male character. I mean, it's not that I find writing female characters easier... it honestly depends on the character. Koi was easier to write than Alula; but Sally is easier to write than Timmy. Cyana and Zanjero are both equally easy to write. And yeah, now that I think of it, many of these stories do involve a male-female duo, which is probably why this won't be that noticeable to people. Alright, let me write down the weakness in my writing that I've noticed when making the retrospective of ''Cyana. It's not in the actual text. It's something you can only know if you know what I've planned, and what actually came out. When it comes to my fiction writing, I'm too bashful. This is probably what killed Alone Together and has taken its toll on Cyana. These are works where I'm trapped between me wanting to say something and me not wanting to say that very thing. You know, there's a certain talent to it; and I'm not one to be the person who says "someone farted." Alone Together was meant to get into some deeply politicized topics. Like I said, in one episode was going to question the nature of religion. You see, in the episode, Julie also gives Grace and Oscar their own miniature village where they can gods too. Oscar becomes a very hands-off "let them do what they must" and Grace tries to be as benevolent as possible. Meanwhile Julie would take the role as the "worship me every second of every day or I will destroy everything you hold dear" kind of god. This is all a big problem if you feel uncomfortable writing about religion. And this is one of the lighter examples. Cyana is a story about prejudice, that has a bunch of nuance. Cyana's main struggle is fighting the prejudice that's thrust upon her without becoming prejudiced herself. It's a fine tightrope to walk. I mean, I'm not afraid of saying what I think. At the very least, I don't think I am. I mean, I did make that Homer Badman ''and that ''Screams of Silence review. And here's the thing - episodes of Alone Together would have been saying the exact same thing, in narrative form. I don't get why I am so squeamish in that department. The things that I have finished, Party Panic and Epic - they're fun. Okay, Epic isn't fun by any definition of the word, but it's light-hearted and upbeat. Also notice that I got further in Young Commando than any other unfinished work. Hellspawn is about a girl being forced to commit monstrosities against her will; Flower of my Dreams is about a man who might be slowly going insane; Fairytale Brooke is about the unmoveable passage of time and the inherit tragedy of getting older and losing yourself and the world you've known. The only "unfun" thing I've finished is Little Cassie, and that was a slog and I dropped the ball in the last quarter. "So, why don't you just write fun stuff?" Because I want to write the harder stuff. Actually, I don't. My creativity though. My little internal voice needs to write the hard-hitting, super serious stuff, with a lot of nuance; dealing with the tragedy of the human condition. However, every part of me doesn't want to do that. It's kind of like your body wanting to eat junk food, but inherently needing to eat balanced meals, if that makes any sense. Then again, Children of the Skies was going to be very fun. It's a fantasy adventure story. So, maybe this isn't an answer. I don't know. I think it explains some things, but it just isn't the full answer. But speaking of that - time is a constant enemy throughout my works. Let's see, Growing Around, especially in episodes like "Baby Tooth", or even "Linda and the Maturity Medicine" - Linda regrets every part of growing up and Timmy is terrified of it. Lucy, from Metamorphosis is forced to go through puberty from hell, our biggest go-to example of "time sucks." Eden of the Stars is your typical coming of age story, which translates to "growing up and learning about the world sucks. Don't do it." Cyana, the titular character becomes disillusioned with a parent she once trusted. And time basically turned her entire people into an underclass. Fairytale Brooke is the most clear example, as it changes Brooke's world uncontrollably and unstoppably to the point where she can't make sense of anything. Time makes fools of us all. Actually, it does more than that. It kills us, it warps our bodies in cruel and awful ways, it takes our passions, and those that we love. The only work where time is a benefit is Alone Together and Little Cassie, where the main characters manage to move on from "the bad times"; both times from an abusive home. And... I guess, Children of the Skies, where the world is in stasis because time refuses to move forward, almost. Can we talk about parents? I complain a lot about shitty parents in media, but... wow is that a common theme. In Metamorphosis, Lucy's parents are detached and distant... before she turns into a monster, and is flat out ready to abandon her when things go bad. Gallas' mother in Epic doesn't really care for Gallas and forces him into a life where he's likely to die because... funny, I guess. Mr. and Mrs. Galvin are so abusive they try to kill a six-year-old girl. Eliza's father in Children of the Skies is as distant as you'd expect an 18th century business father to be. Claire is another incredibly evil, abusive person. And Telos, apparently he sold out casters and is responsible for much of the subjugation that they are currently facing. Both of April's parents from Growing Around don't have much time for her because they've got a million kids. Honestly, sometimes, looking back, I wonder if I should change my last name to Grimm Then there are the gray area parents. Jessica's, from Hellspawn send her to an institution that they think will help her... but it's just there to contain the demon that's possessing her; the actual person be damned. Eden's parents sell out the earth so that their child can live... in a zoo. The whole time travel kids plot is about our main character deciding whether or not he wants to create the future in which these kids he sees before him get to be born. There are some good ones. Robert and Linda were designed to be that way; even though they have issues, they do try as hard as they can. Brooke's father is a little quirky and doesn't really understand his daughter, but you know; he tries. And then there's Jack from Alone Together, who perseveres as hard as he can throughout the most fucked up shit that life can throw at him. That brings me to another common theme that is the foundation of a lot of my works - the moral quandary. Many of my works are built to explore moral and ethical questions. Eden of the Stars has two of them - How should we feel about the life altering choices thrust upon us by our parents, and are Eden's parents in the right for... essentially selling out the earth in what they believed to be a doomed battle to protect their child. Little Cassie is all about the ethics of taking the law into your own hand and doing worse and worse things to do good in the end. Flower of my Dreams delves into the nature of life itself, and what could reasonably be called a sentient being. The time travelling kids is founded upon a similar question. I mean, yeah, it's easy to say that he's selfish for not wanting to have these kids, but if he decides not to have them, they'll technically never would have existed (I don't know how to grammar this) and thus nothing is really lost. And then there's Alone Together and Cyana. I feel that I'm just rambling. Is there any answer here I'm not seeing? I legitimately do not know. What have you noticed from my writing? Any common themes or motifs that I've missed? What do you think I'm missing here? What am I trying to say? However, before I go... I will do a little bit of a ranking. First of all, the "Top 10 things I really wish that I could finish. 10. Consequences: I put this one at number 10 because I think it's the only one I actually have an excuse that I abandoned it, in that I don't have the technical skill or the technology to pull off making a game with the complexity that's required here. Epic is about as far as my game design skills go. 9: Metamorphosis This is also pretty low, because it was technically finished. However, I like the concept and I feel that I should refine it one day and actually make it something truly special. 8. Flower of My Dreams/Eden of the Stars Two stories that have astounding ideas that I'd really like to explore. However, I have seen media that at least touched upon them and sort of satisfied my itch to see them realized. I would like to truly push these stories forth and make them my own though. 7. Hellspawn The pilot script is one of the better things that I wrote, and there's a lot of potential for this to go somewhere. Unfortunately, I'm incredibly lost as to where to take this one. There's a lot of... meandering ideas, but nothing truly solid. 6. Fairytale Brooke Hey... hopefully I've misplaced this by putting it here. What I'm working on now. It's a perfect blend of fun and intense, which might guide my pathway into fixing myself out of this mess. And it also is very close to some of the themes that I want to communicate. 5. Alone Together If I wasn't so... "squeamish" about writing the tougher stuff, this would be a lot higher on the list. As it stand though, it's a perfect blend of "I really want to write this" and "I really don't want to write this." 4. Time Travelling Kids Story I think that this story contains a little bit of everything that I seem to like. Time travel is fun; comedies are fun; the moral quandary is fun. The only tough part was... well, time. 3. Young Commando This was some of the most fun I had writing, and it is the closest unfinished project to being "complete", at a third of the way finished. 2. Children of the Skies I know it's portal fantasy, but the world of this work is so fascinating to me, and I really like the characters. The universe in which this inhabits is actually very unlike anything else I've come up with. 1. Cyana Cyana so far seems to be a culmination of everything that I've come up with. As in, it is the closest to coming to "what I want to say." **** And that's the end. Now, I've scattered little moments from these would-be works throughout this retrospective, and that's because... I want to be the person helps others experience Cyana soaring through the air and becoming one with the clouds; or Stephen regaling Eliza with tales of people walking on the moon. I want to tell people about Brooke leading an army of giants ants to overthrow a tyrannical princess. Jack and Lily sharing a fantasy dream together, damn the world and whatever it thinks about them. I want to make people laugh when Commander Birch berates Emerson for handing Kaylie a cigarette, while they're all gambling over poker... and Kaylie is winning big. But getting any of this down onto paper in a finished form, showing people something beyond works in progress or things that never were... I don't... know. What's wrong? Why can't I put down all of the details that I see? Maybe someday. Someday soon... I hope. But time makes fools of us all, remember? Category:Miscellaneous